How to get more out of life and stop feeling stuck | Gill Mathias
At the moment we are all going through periods where we feel like we might be stuck in a rut. In fact, it’s not uncommon to feel like you’re just going through the motions, treading water, or jogging in place. You’re doing the same old things, but it doesn’t seem like you are actually getting anywhere. Instead of moving forward toward your goals, you’re remaining stagnant. These feelings can be frustrating. But, there are things that you can do to learn how to get motivated and excited again that than feeling like a Ground Hog Day.
Recognising the signs you’re stuck in a rut particularly if you are furloughed, working from home or isolated.
Being “stuck” is something you may not even notice at first. These feelings often build slowly over time. Day after day, you might follow your same routines and even wonder what day it is. Eventually, it feels less like you are working toward something and more like you are just killing time. Here are some of the signs that you might be stuck in a rut.
- Every day seems the same. You might even have trouble remembering what day of the week it is. Is it Monday, or is it Friday? It doesn’t matter because your days feel indistinguishable from one another.
- You feel like you’re just trying to get through another day. Your goal is to keep putting one foot ahead of the other until the day is done. You don’t feel excited or inspired.
- You feel unmotivated. You might want to take on new projects or engage in creative tasks, but it feels like your motivation has run dry. You just can’t seem to get started.1
- You feel unfulfilled. Life feels dull and boring. You want to try new things, but you don’t know where to begin.
- You want to change, but fear the temporary discomfort that comes with it. You know that changing things up will make you happier in the long run, but you keep sticking with the status quo because it means you won’t have to risk any pain or failure.
Finding the Source of Your Rut
While you might recognise that you are stuck in a rut, you might not know what the next step should be. One thing to remember is that not all ruts are the same. Figure out what’s causing your discontentment which we are all feeling in this present time. Is it fear, the inability to plan or just feeling stuck?
Don’t criticise or berate yourself once you understand the actual root cause of your feelings. It’s easy to minimise the problem and try to make your feelings seem trivial. You might think: “I have a great family life,” or “I don’t have a right to feel this way.” But, these thoughts are counterproductive and keep you trapped in the rut. While things may be “just bearable” as they are, if you’re not satisfied, it’s time to make changes and regain your spark.
Getting Out of a Rut
Once you’ve acknowledged what you’re feeling, start looking for ways to get unstuck. There are a number of ways to break the negative cycle and move forward. Here are a few ideas on how to get out of a rut.
Take Care of Yourself
When you feel stuck in a rut, combat it by taking care of yourself. Self-compassion is critical to mental wellness. Start with a quick assessment of how well you have been taking care of you. Have you been eating well? Are you sleeping enough? Have you been spending enough time with your family or support bubble?
If something is lacking in the self-care department, now is the time to address it. Healthy food, adequate sleep, daily exercise, and social support are all essential to your physical and emotional health. Look for ways to treat yourself a little better. Taking care of yourself ensures you have the energy to stay focused and excited about your life.
Change Your Routines
It’s hard to move forward or branch out if you’re following the same routines day after day. People are creatures of habit, and sometimes feeling stuck stems from boredom. Look for ways to add different experiences to your day so you can feel to have achieved something during this year of the pandemic. Here are some things you might try.
- Have some exercise. Walking or cycling is supported by the Government Restrictions and it is so good for your health and gives clarity of mind. Set aside time each day, even for 20 minutes to focus your energy on having a good time.
- Try something new. Whether it’s watching a new nature programme, or signing up for a class online, exploring these opportunities can add zest to your life.9
Try Heading Outdoors
Researchers have discovered that being in nature has a positive impact on the brain. For example, one study found that taking a walk outside reduced self-referential rumination, a behaviour that can increase the risk of depression. Another study found that nature walks were associated with decreased depression, lowered stress, and increased mental well-being.
Not only can being outside increase your mental wellness, studies have shown that it enhances creativity as well. The next time you’re feeling bogged down, try going for a walk. Let go of the thoughts circling around in your brain. Pay attention to the world around you. Allow yourself to relax, think of new things, and enjoy the beauty you see. If nothing else, it’s a great way to get some exercise. You will return to your everyday life with a renewed sense of wonder.
Find Your Purpose
It’s easy to fall into a rut when it feels like you’re not really working toward anything. Having things to look forward to and a sense of purpose are key ingredients for motivation. However, at the moment this is difficult but you can visualise and this can add a sense of purpose and why in your life.
In fact, researchers have discovered that having something to look forward to helps people cope with troubles in the here and now. Psychologists have long recognised the importance of delayed gratification. By holding out for larger rewards in the future, people build better self-control and stronger willpower.
- Make plans. There is a great deal of power in anticipation. Sometimes you might look forward to existing events, such as the release of a movie or your favourite holiday. But you also can create these moments intentionally. Give yourself things to look forward to and get excited about even if this is in the future and make yourself a collage of your dream and visualisation.
- Do not overlook the little things. Even small daily and weekly rewards such as being able to tune into your favourite TV show once a week are great ways to build a sense of anticipation for the future. If you are in a family, play games or organise quizzes online with extended family or friends.
- Volunteer to serve others. Having a sense of purpose also comes from helping others. Look for ways to contribute in your community. Or, focus on helping your friends or loved ones their needs… Volunteer with a local organisation and there are plenty now requiring support. Such activities give you a sense of greater purpose and meaning and are good for your mental well-being, too.
Boost Your Motivation
Sometimes getting out of a rut happens spontaneously. For example, you might feel stuck in a rut one day and then something suddenly clicks into place and the feelings vanish. In other cases, you might need to take a more active approach. One way to do that is to focus on your motivation. Try to get motivated, even when you do not feel particularly interested or excited about what you are doing.
- Reward yourself. Positive reinforcement is helpful when you’re struggling to get motivated. Promise yourself a reward for starting the task. Then, continue to reward yourself after completing each step. Eventually, pull back on the rewards, but promise yourself a larger reward once you have reached your goals. Rewards can get you started and help generate greater interest in what you are working on.
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